72 today. I am quietly rejoicing for having logged another year. Each year we survive is a win. But each year I ask myself: Am I old yet? and every year, well, I can’t in all honesty say yes. I used to think that 65 was the border separating middle age from old age. But when I turned 65 in 2017, I couldn’t shake the feeling of still being middle-aged. So I shoved the border back a few years, to 72. Here I am. And damn if I don’t feel a whit different than I did at 65.
I’ve written about several of my birthdays at some length, and make a few points in those entries that I don’t intend to make again. Here’s 58, 60, 66 (I didn’t do an entry when I turned 65) 69 and 70.
So when does a person become old? My hypothesis: There comes a point when it becomes impossible to live without a little (or maybe more than a little) help. That’s when you become old.
It’s not a dumb question. As we age, things lose functionality. Little failures accumulate, with an occasional larger failure as a sort of quantum leap. A lot of those you can see coming and dodge; I’ve never smoked nor done drugs and don’t drink much. Low-carb has kept my weight down. It’s unclear how much getting plenty of sleep helps, though from all I’ve read it’s a lot.
A few you can reverse with medical help. I’ve been told I’ll need cataract surgery eventually, and whereas my sight isn’t strongly impaired yet, I’m not looking forward to the surgery itself. Joint replacements exist for knees and hips and probably a few others. So far, my joints are in reasonably good shape. Carol and I have been doing some intense weight training since 2003, and I’m pretty sure I now have more muscle than I did when I was in my 40s.
As I’ve written before, sure, I’ve been lucky. That said, a lot of luck you make yourself. Simple caution and not doing stupid things have kept me from spraining or tearing anything essential. I practice sanity, refuse to engage in tribal screaming matches, and don’t take myself as seriously as I might. Laughter feels good, even if you’re laughing at yourself. I keep my brain busy.
Yes, I now have a certain amount of metal in my mouth. In truth, that metal works better than the teeth it replaced. The rest of me is still original stock. I still have my tonsils and my appendix, granting that neither buys me much beyond peculiar bragging rights.
All of which suggests that I’m not old yet. I may someday need a cane or braces of various kinds. 75? 80? 85? Who knows? I’ll take it as it comes. As a grade school friend of mine often says of life, Enjoy the ride. I’m a contrarian optimist. I am enjoying the ride. And as long as I’m enjoying the ride, I suspect I will not think of myself as old.
Happy Birthday Jeff! I’m glad you don’t feel old yet, I hope and pray that continues for many, many more years!
73
Oh, my city just started a fireworks show, just outside my neighborhood. So even Taylorsville Utah is celebrating you this year!
Intense weight training? Good on you. I lift myself two days out of six (plus one day of intense cardio, other three days 60 push-ups and 120 crunches).
But I can tell you when I realized I’m old. I don’t have a future. I don’t have enough years left for anything long-term. There were things I hoped to accomplish in my life that I never got around to. I thought would go at them when I had my life in good order – which it never really was. Now it’s too late.
That, and realizing that stuff I remember is distant pre-history for people who are middle-aged.
OTOH, I don’t feel old physically. I’m about as fit and healthy as I ever was, and can do whatever I want pretty easily. OYAH, I see people my age or younger developing serious physical limitations on activity or diet, which is scary.
Happy birthday, Jeff! I’m 73, so a year ahead of you. Alas, the view ahead ain’t pretty. Like an old car, everything still works; but not as well as it used to. There’s an increasing need for parts and repairs.
I don’t feel old; but I look old on the outside, and so am (constantly) put down as old by young people. That’s depressing. It’s also depressing to realize that half the people I’ve known in life are now dead.
As Rich said, the worst part is to realize you don’t have a future. The world is adapting itself to go on without you, ignoring anything you have to offer.
“I sometime think in all the world the saddest thing to be
Old Admirals who fell the wind are never put to sea”
(lyrics by Al Stewart)
Am I old yet? Yes. I achieved an age of 82 last March. Last October, I fell from standing on a short stool and cracked my L1 vertebrae. After surgery involving titanium braces screwed onto my spine, I spent three weeks in rehab and recovery and was walking (with a rollator) immediately. All was going well until January when excruciating pain in my right hip and knee felled me to immobility. Finally, medical imaging showed avascular necrosis in my right hip. This meant another titanium implant as that hip joint was replaced. I will not say that the recovery was painless or simple – in fact recovery is still an ongoing process.
What is the point? Never give up! “Old” is an attitude as well as a condition of aging. Each day, I regain activities that were for a while not possible. I’ll never be 20 again, but I retain a positive attitude. May everyone be so fortunate.
Lee: Not having a future isn’t intrinsically bad, because that’s what happens when one gets old. For me it interacts with my disappointing life – it’s too late to play catch-up. But that doesn’t apply to others.
Well I hope you never stop writing, Jeff. I’ve often said to myself that people older than me are people from the future. They live 10, 20, 30 years ahead of me and can provide insight about what’s coming, so learn from them. I’ve definitely learned much from you.
Stop writing? Never–at least as long as I have fingers and enough of my brain to write something useful. Writing is what I AM. Sure, I program, I build things (all kinds of things) and I work 15 meters when the sunspots cooperate. But writing is the one thing I have that isn’t something other people can pick up without half thinking. I write funny computer books! Try it sometime. It became my niche, granting that Pascal’s time has (for the most part) passed.
So worry less. I’m shooting for 96, because my great grandmother Martha Winkelmann Duntemann made it to 96, even after spending half her life without indoor plumbing. Born 1871. Died 1967. She went up and down the stairs to her second-floor flat without help until three weeks before she died.
If she can do it, I can too.
Jeff, I turned 77 this year and feel younger than I did years ago. MUCH lower BP numbers et al too! Eliminating as much stress as possible has made the difference. After USAF during Vietnam I worked for State Government for another 31 years and working with politicians and lawyers did take its toll. After I retired I lost about 60 pounds over the course of a few years, and started getting much more physically active. A cousin taught me a form of meditation that also has helped. Stress didn’t just go away, I just learned not to let it get too me. Stay active both physically and mentally and above all inherit good genes! I suspect you are on the right track.
Belated happy birthday, Jeff. You’re not really an old man until you start checking your email only once a week, and powering off your cell phone unless you want to call somebody. Long may you stay young!
i turned 72 on the 18th and I understand that question. I haven’t needed to ask for help but I have realized those things I don’t need to test the fates. I still energyI yet I do enjoy making up for all those naps I refused to take as a child.
Happy Birthday!
Jeff, if I remember right you were once a copier repairman. There’s a book about Xerox and copier maintenance you might have seen already:
https://books.worksinprogress.co/book/maintenance-of-everything/communities-of-practice/the-soul-of-maintaining-a-new-machine/1
A friend does repair of aircraft flight simulators. His employer also hires crews out to other companies to repair their simulators. They might do programming, board-level electronic repair, climb scaffolding, or go down into hydraulic sumps in a rubber suit during the course of their work, but they’re always supposed to present as “white collar” employees, which is hard to do when they’re filthy from crawling in narrow access tunnels.