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Slow Dopamine

Several weeks ago I read a nonfiction book that I had bought and read in 1992 and not since. When I finished it, I felt peculiarly rested and happy, so much so that it surprised me when the feeling continued until the end of the day. I won’t name the book because among other things it involves church politics, and I don’t talk about politics in this space. What matters is that it put me at ease vis-a-vis some issues I’ve had with religion for a long time. Some books, while interesting, put me on edge. This one, while also interesting, put me at ease.

It took two days’ worth of easy-chair time to go through it. I didn’t rush; I learned back now and then and pondered certain of its many points, and stopped a couple of times to look up things that might have changed since 1992. I felt it was a worthwhile use of my time.

What I didn’t expect was a day-long dopamine rush.

Dopamine is a brain chemical. It’s what makes us feel good. I’ve known that for years. What I didn’t know is that the slower you do something that generates dopamine, the longer the dopamine lasts, sometimes long after you finish what you’re doing. Conversely, when you scroll through your phone or tablet hunting for memes, silly videos, or quick, short text posts that make you smile, the dopamine rises fast, and then goes away just as quickly. The faster the rise, the faster the fall. This even has a name: fast dopamine. Do too much fast dopamine, and all that falling after the brief hits can actually lower your background dopamine levels and drive you to depression or addiction.

What you really want instead is slow dopamine. The articles I’ve seen (like this one) emphasize slow pleasures over fast pleasures. But more than that, slow dopamine sticks around longer if you put effort into something that pleases you. The more effort and the more time expended in something you enjoy means that the dopamine generated will stick around longer and fade away a great deal more slowly.

I tested this again a couple of days ago when I constructed a PC board kit name badge that puts on its own light show. Building something that requires sharp-tip soldering is best done slowly, and sometimes requires a biggish frame magnifier. I took it easy, savored the smell of smoky core-rosin rising in wisps from the PCB, and periodically kicked back and remembered the fun I had with my SF nerd friends  in the 1970s. The badge honors the 50th anniversary of an SF club I helped create back in 1975 (see the link above) and when it was over, I was practically glowing. The dopamine didn’t last quite as long as that generated by several hours reading a good book, but I felt good for another two hours at least.

I’m older than the Internet (hell, I’m older than the transistor) and whereas I check a weather app each morning and sometimes scan a news feed i’ve customized away from tantrum politics, I don’t sit around doomscrolling or watching TikTok for hours on end. I read, I write, I program, I exercise, and I build things, all of which require focus and effort. I trade emails with my friends. There are life events that will keep your dopamine down—I’ve just been through a major one of those—but between tragedies, stay busy with positive things that require effort and take awhile. The slower and more energetic your dopamine onset, the longer it will last. I’ve been there. It works. Try it.

General Technics’ 50th Anniversary

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Fifty years and some months ago, I got together with a few of my friends in the science fiction fan community, and we started a…what? Club? Fanzine? A gathering of techie nerds?

Yes. All of the above, and then some. With me as the fanzine editor. I created a zine called PyroTechnics, with its first (undated) issue appearing in late winter or early spring 1976. I worked for Xerox at the time, and that helped, since I was given free rein of the many copiers/duplicators at the downtown Xerox Chicago offices, where I ran off the newsletters.

A lot of those early years’ activities have gotten a little fuzzy in my head, but we were (mostly) a midwest phenomenon, and we attended midwestern conventions like Windycon, Chambanacon, Capricon, and doubtless others. Several of us traveled to Kansas City for the 1976 Worldcon, where I (and doubtless some of the others) stood in line to shake hands with Robert A. Heinlein, who was pro GOH that year. We stole the name “General Technics” from John Brunner’s 1968 novel Stand on Zanzibar. I sometimes wonder if he knew about us, given the lack of Internet in the 1970s. (Brunner died in 1995, when the Internet was just getting out of second gear.) It wasn’t cold-hearted theft; we were honoring an excellent novel that wasn’t ishy-squishy New Wave.

Us, we wanted hard SF and lots of it. We talked about tech, we built things from blinkies to robots to much else, had fun, and wrote it up for Pyro. By 1979 we had almost a hundred members. I paid a GT member to assemble an S100 8080 CP/M machine for me in 1980, and used it for ten years. As time went on, subgroups within GT published issues of PyroTechnics themselves, with my enthusiastic blessing. I may not have all the issues that ever were, and I think my part of it faded out as Carol and I went bopping around the country while I chased jobs. I still keep in touch with a few members, though at least one of my best GT friends (and best friends generally ), George Ewing, left this world back in 2010.

Things got quiet for a long time. Then some time back, I was sent a kit by 2DKits, care of GTer physicist Bill Higgins. It was a blinkie name badge kit celebrating 50 years of General Technics, with a PIC processor and lots of LEDs. I finally finished it this afternoon, and it almost brought a tear to my eye. Fifty years, wow.

GT still exists, though I may or may not still be a member. We’ll have to see about that. As I like to say, friendship is the cornerstone of the human spirit. Time to rekindle that GT spirit if I can.

Odd Lots

  • Artemis II is home safe! And showed off a little by going farther from Earth than any of the Apollo missions. It was cislunar (orbit around both Earth and Moon) so that there was no chance of getting stuck in Lunar orbit due to possible failure of the spacecraft’s thrusters. No, their only problem was with the bathroom plumbing. I flashed on the scene from 2001: A Space Odyssey, in which Dr. Heywood Floyd is shown reading the instructions for a zero-G toilet.
  • I saw this too: Many big-name news outlets reporting on Artemis talking about “the dark side of the Moon.” There is a side we don’t see from Earth, but it gets as much light as the side we do see. This makes me glad I didn’t go into news journalism. (Yes, I considered it…50 years ago.)
  • In the transition from Old English to Middle English, the language lost a fair number of pronouns, especially pronouns referring to two people only, not one, not more than two. Interesting story about how this came about over time, but we really don’t know why.
  • New “smart” TV sets are very good at reporting on the habits of their users. Here’s a reasonable article on how to minimize that. Our big-screen flat TV is now 15 years old and isn’t especially smart. We’re probably going to keep it until it croaks.
  • I don’t do social media as much as I used to—the novelty’s long since worn off—but there’s new research about how cutting down on social media time can help mental health in a variety of ways. I’ve got another Contra entry in the cooker about “slow dopamine” and how I experienced it, which is another factor in the social media takeover we see in modern life.
  • Here’s an interesting piece about the history of SF, beginning with Hugo Gernsback’s Amazing Stories and stopping at…the New Wave? Well, it’s supposedly about how the SF genre was born and raised. The New Wave faded away in the 1970s, though there are still some holdouts. Indie SF is now changing the shape of the game, and the author doesn’t mention the long, slow death-throes of print publishing.
  • I miss Radio Shack, sure, but earlier today I was assembling a kit that uses two CR2032 coin cells, and one of the battery holders was defective. I shrugged, took a deep breath, and then ordered a bag of six from Amazon. They’ll be here tomorrow afternoon. The kit is cool and celebrates an anniversary that I’ll describe here in an upcoming Contra entry.

Holy Saturday…

…may well be the strangest day in the entire Christian calendar. On Good Friday, Christ suffered and died on the cross. He was then buried, to rise again from the dead on Easter Sunday. So what did He do on Holy Saturday?

He harrowed hell.

You don’t hear much about the Harrowing of Hell anymore. The creeds say that “He descended into hell” but nothing about what He did there. I get reminded from time to time that “hell” once meant “the grave.” True enough. They laid Christ in a tomb. He wasn’t exactly buried as we understand the term today, though if a tomb is a burrow into a hillside as often pictured, it’s still a burial in the earth.

Later Catholic tradition holds that in harrowing hell, Christ released all the people from hell who had been there after their death, since there was not yet redemption or baptism. The tradition does not say that they were all being tortured. I’ve read of those who call this release from “the limbo of the fathers” the Harrowing of Hell. Limbo as it was later understood is something I won’t be discussing in detail here, as I’ve not heard it mentioned in a Catholic context in a good many years and am not sure of its current status. Later Catholic tradition morphed limbo into the eternal home of unbaptized infants who die, without torment but also without the Beatific Vision.

There are problems with hell generally. I’m no big fan of Bertrand Russell, but he made a salient point in asking how infinite punishment for finite transgression can be just. When I was a college freshman at a Catholic college in Chicago, the (old) priest teaching a lesson on Christ’s redemption emphasized that against an infinitely perfect God, all imperfection is infinitely evil and thus deserving of eternal torture.

Huh? What the, er, hell?

Naively assuming that college allowed for interesting discussions in class, I raised my hand and asked whether, compared to God’s infinite perfection and goodness, wouldn’t our imperfections seem so small as to vanish into the noise? In an obvious state of agitation, the priest said that made no sense. After that session, he threatened to eject me from the course for saying such things. I kept my mouth shut in later class sessions, having learned a few lessons that were not in our textbooks.

To this day, believing that God always wins, I can’t figure how I could be more merciful than God, nor that an all-powerful and all-loving God could eternally lose and torture countless people that He loved, even for dumb things like eating meat on Friday.

Anyway. Holy Saturday is clearly the day when Jesus descended into hell, preached a little (according to some traditions) and then let everybody out. Did He close the gates? Lotta arguments about that, which I won’t go into here. Tomorrow is the Big Day, in whose shadow Holy Saturday will always remain. I feel sorry for it now and then. Harrowing hell was no small victory, for God and everybody else. I raise a glass of good red wine in today’s favor. God wins, today and always!

Odd Lots

Grokipedia V0.2

Having spent some time with Grokipedia back in October of last year and written it up, I went back earlier today and took another look. It’s now V0.2. More significantly, it now has 6,092,140 articles. (Back in early November, it had 882,279.)

Here are some links that are worth a look:

Wikipedia has an article on Edison Park, the Chicago neighborhood where I grew up. So does Grokipedia—but it’s not the same article. Grokipedia has much more detail, and was not copied from Wikipedia, as many of Grokipedia’s critics claim. Now, I found an error in the Grokipedia article: The northern boundary of Edison Park is not Touhy Avenue but Howard Street. A small enough thing, but if precision is required, will the AI be able to provide it?

I have a few quibbles with the biography Grokipedia posted of me; it made no mention of the 2009 third edition of Assembly Language Step-By-Step, and did not mention Carol at all. There was also some repetition about my projects like Cosmo the robot and my two home-made reflecting telescopes. I had hoped for a detailed bibliography like those on Wikipedia; no joy there. Those are gripes I found while I had my editor’s hat on, and in truth I’d rather have too much information in the piece than too little.

Although I’ve read the other articles in the above list, I didn’t put them under my editorial microscope. I was surprised at its mention of Modula2+ and Oberon 2, languages I’d not heard of before. Xerox in-house language Mesa has an article but its successor Cedar doesn’t. I did learn that there is a programming language called Haggis, for use in (where else?) Scotland. The lack of photos on Grokipedia continues, as I mentioned in my first post on the topic.

My conclusion? Grokipedia is the best AI of the several I’ve tried so far. I saw no gross AI hallucinations (like me being dead, sheesh) and significant topics are mostly covered. I didn’t read anything political and hence potentially biased; I was looking for programming languages and writers who are also friends, like Sarah Hoyt.

The research continues. I’ll post another pertinent entry here when I find something worth reporting.

Odd Lots

Scraps: “May You Always”

I haven’t done a piece on scraps in a couple of years, so if you didn’t see it back in 2023, here’s a link to where I define it. Basically, stuff that pops into your head without a trigger or other reason. Happens to me all the time. But today I had a weird one.

While I was grocery shopping, a song popped into my head: “May You Always,” by the McGuire Sisters. It peaked on the Hot 100 on January 5, 1959. I haven’t heard for a number of years. I liked it (still do) for the Sisters’ voices and harmony. I could hear it as clearly as though it were on the radio. I had it on my college-years 8” reel-to-real off-the-radio mix tapes, and heard it a lot. So it’s no huge surprise that I remembered not only the melody and harmony but also the lyrics.

Here they are if you’re not familiar with the song. (I suspect a lot of my older readers might be.) Here’s the Sisters singing it. It’s clearly a person wishing another person well. Given who’s singing, it’s no surprise that I consider the lyric’s viewpoint singer a woman. The lyrics don’t say it out loud, but it sure sounds like a breakup song. The relationship is over, and she’s wishing him all the best.

But…why did they break up? She’s wishing for him to find someone to love as much as she loves him. So it wasn’t that he found another girlfriend. People break up for other reasons, sure. But then it hit me in the back of the head: She’s dying. They love one another deeply, but she’s on her deathbed, saying her goodbyes, with nothing but loving wishes that he continue on with his life and find someone new to love.

In reading the lyrics now, that interpretation seems obvious to me. Why?

I’m 73. A fair number of my friends have died. You get into your seventies, and that will happen. It’s part of the curve that we’re on. It’s a little odd that about as many women as men in my social circles have died. But that’s how it is. (Two of the women were, egad—murdered.)

I bring this up only as a reminder that getting old means you see others leave this world much more often than when you’re young. But young women die too—and that seems to lie at the emotional core of “May You Always.” That wouldn’t have occurred to me when I was 30 or 40. Well, it occurs to me now.

Odd Lots

Crosstrekkin’

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Well, our poor 2001 Toyota 4Runner, which we bought new in 2001, started to fail often enough that we decided (months ago, actually) that we needed to start shopping for another second car. We did a fair amount of research, primarily because of our screwy garage door, which should have been a 16-footer but is only 15’ wide. So getting in and out of the garage can be tricky, mostly because our primary car is a 2014 Dodge Durango. The 2001 4Runner was built on a small pickup truck chassis. so it was relatively narrow but still reasonably tall. Its narrowness made slipping it in beside the Durango easier than it would be with a modern 4Runner. We looked hard for something that was no wider than the 4Runner, and as close as we could come was the Subaru Crosstrek. Ok, there were a few other candidates. Our choice was driven by what we could find.

Subaru has a good reputation for reliability. So we did what we did when we bought our Durango: drove up to CarMax to see what they had. CarMax had treated us very well when we bought the Durango there at the end of 2014. And the Durango itself has treated us very well in the 11 years that followed.

The Scottsdale CarMax had no Crosstreks on the lot. No sweat. They trucked one in from their larger facility on the west side of town, no charge. It was a white 2022 with about 15K miles on it. I brought my 25’ tape measure with me when we drove over to see it the first time. The car was within striking distance of 71” wide, mirror-edge to mirror-edge, as was our old 4Runner. So it would fit in the garage. It was a little lower than Carol would have preferred, but I doubted that anything only 71” wide would be as tall as the ‘01 Toyota.

We were offered a free 24-hour test drive. Getting the paperwork in order was an issue, especially with insurance. We basically bought a 2-day policy on the Crosstrek. Then off we went. It drove beautifully. We went back to CarMax and told them they had a buyer. A few days later (more paperwork!) we gave them a cashier’s check—and our 4Runner—and they gave us the car.

Again, it drove very well. Our problem with it was not about quality but complexity. It has a huge touch-screen control panel, as well as plenty of buttons. The stack of manuals that came with the vehicle is 2” high. Carol and I (but especially Carol) spent a huge amount of time going through the books and trying to figure out how everything worked.

There was a lot of everything.

We’re still learning. But that said, Carol loves the car. She drives it when she’s driving alone; when we go somewhere together we take the Durango. It’s an SUV with more cargo space than I would have guessed a car that small might have. Overall, a very big win. We also recommend CarMax if you’re looking for a used car. They were attentive, courteous, and had none of the weaselly arrogance that conventional car dealerships are famous for. Keep CarMax in mind if at some point you’re facing the same, um, adventure.