Hey, country music fans, find yourself an overripe banana (or in Sarah Hoyt’s universe, a ten-pound carp) and get your swingin’ arm ready. I used to write a lot of filk songs but got out of the habit twenty or thirty years ago. Well…guess what?
Just in case you’re not familiar with the original, it’s on YouTube.
I Should’ve Been a Jedi
(By Jeff Duntemann; to Toby Keith’s “I Should’ve Been a Cowboy”)
I’ll bet you never heard ol’ Luke Skywalker say:
“Princess Leia, have you ever thought of runnin’ away?
Settlin’ down, would ya marry me?
(or at least get me the hell away from Tatooine..)”
She’d’ve said “yukkh!” in a New York minute;
Incest’s against the law; there’s no future in it.
She just stole a kiss as they swung away;
Luke never let his hormones…get out of place.
Refrain:
I should’ve been a Jedi
I should’ve learned there is no “try…”
Wavin’ my light saber, knockin’ the arms right off some ugly guy.
Blowin’ them Empire ships
Right out of the sky;
Nukin’ those Death Star cores;
Oh, I shoulda been a Jedi.
I mighta had a sidekick with a fuzzy mane,
Flyin’ blind by the Force, just like Ben explained.
Takin’ potshots at a Tusken Raider;
Givin’ a hand to your daddy Vader…
Blast off, young man, ain’tcha seen them flicks?
Outer space is full of rayguns, wookies, and chicks!
Sleepin out all night inside a tauntaun’s guts,
With my dreams in the stars instead of freezin’ my butt…
(Refrain X2)
I should’ve been a Jedi!
I should’ve been a Jedi!
